Siliconcowboy's Blog

A Modest Proposal For Disaster Response

A 10-step proposal for responding to hurricanes, floods, tornadoes and wild fires.

Note: This idea was triggered watching a news report which noted there were no storm shelters in any of the schools or public buildings in Moore, Oklahoma to protect children and others from a devastating F5 tornado.

  1. Have Monsanto donate half its profits toward the purchase of new land for the construction of schools and community buildings destroyed by tornadoes, hurricanes, floods or wildfires wherever they occur, for as long as Monsanto feels righteous about producing GMO products on our soil.
  2. Have Apple computer and every other US-based global corporation underwrite the construction costs for all the schools and public buildings that go up on those lands, for as long as they feel righteous about sheltering their billions off shore.
  3. Have the health care insurance industry underwrite the cost of new hospitals, clinics and hospices in these areas, but ensure that they relinquish any and all control of them, as long as they feel righteous about jacking up health care insurance costs for no real reason other than profit.
  4. Have the oil and gas industry donate its entire labor force two days per week toward the construction of these buildings, for as long as they feel justified with fracking and transporting oil to be sold overseas for their own profit.
  5. Have the energy utilities donate the pipelines and electrical lines to these facilities for free, as  long as they feel justified in increasing the price of energy despite every indicator that their costs are going down.
  6. Have the banks, the Wall Street brokers and the top 100 investors on Wall Street cover the cost of new houses for every home destroyed in these disasters, for as long as they feel righteous about protecting their own interests on the shoulders of those who have not seen an appreciable wage increase in 30 years.
  7. Have the private prison industry release every nonviolent offender in its institutions, especially those being held for questionable immigration status, so they can work on the construction of homes, businesses and infrastructure in these areas, for as long as they feel righteous about destroying the employment potential of these individuals.
  8. Have the churches everywhere donate for the cost of shelters everywhere, for as long as they continue to foist the belief that donating to their political causes is more important than donating for the safety and well-being of children and families.
  9. Have every gun manufacturer, distributor and dealer underwrite the cost of metal used in the construction of safety shelters, as long as they feel righteous about using metal to make guns that are used to kill more Americans than any war or natural disaster ever has.
  10. Have the federal government give a five-year tax holiday to every business that returns all of its employees to work after such a disaster. Because this is the noblest thing to do.

Bonus: Have everyone everywhere donate $10 each to Red Cross, because none of us are holy and none of us are righteous, but we are all spiritual beings having a human experience, and each one of us will need help someday.